Pirates Of Lanier Charity Poker Run, Part I: Joining The Waffle House Cult

As forecasted for more than a week, the weather for the Pirates of Lanier Charity Poker Run this weekend in Northern Georgia is less than ideal for a boating event. It’s been drizzling since I arrived last night, but—to borrow loosely from the movie Caddy Shack—the “real heavy stuff” has yet to fall. The conditions for tomorrow’s main event look about the same, so high-performance marine insurance and finance man man Devin Wozencraft and I just fetched his 34-foot Victory catamaran from a friend’s nearby storage facility and we are off to the launch ramp next to Margaritaville, the host venue for this weekend’s festivities.

Devin Wozencraft treated Matt Trulio to a rare Waffle House feast this morning.

But first, we had to stop at a nearby Waffle House restaurant for a late-morning breakfast.

This will make perfect sense to anyone who’s ever spent more than a day with Wozencraft. Eating breakfast at least once at whatever Waffle House happens to be nearby—and with almost 2,000 of them spread across the United States they’re not hard to find—is more than a ritual for him. It’s part of his annual Wozencraft World Tour schtick.

And so now we’re our on our way to hit the lake to join MTI 390X catamaran owner Craig Ackerman of Georgia and Upstate New York’s Kelly O’Hara, who co-owns the Cowboy & Indian DCB Performance Marine M37R Widebody catamaran with Indiana’s Kiran Pinisetti for whatever time we can get on the water before honest rain falls.

Waffle House first-timers are required to wear crowns, so good sport that he is Wozencraft played along.

But my stomach kind of hurts because I had the yellow restaurant’s sausage, egg and grits bowl. Being a Waffle House rookie and a true Yankee, I somehow convinced myself that grits would be “lighter” than hash browns as a base. I was wrong. To put it mildly.

And now, I no longer care if it rains all over me today. I only hope that the water is calm.

Next stop, Lake Lanier.

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