Life Aboard: Living “Inside Out”

Living aboard turns a boater’s social life … inside out?

The wind and rain were relentless; the weather had us pinned down in the small coastal village of Oriental, North Carolina for days. With an intense cold front stalled over us, we had no window for departure in sight. A break in the rain did offer us the opportunity to open our boat and air things out a bit. It also brought out the locals who always seem to be curious about the transients passing through.

Dori and I were standing on the pier behind our boat when a woman stopped to greet our dogs and ask where we were from. Within minutes of learning we’d been there for several days waiting out the weather, she asked if we needed anything; she even offered to take us to her house to do our laundry. As this conversation was taking place, a fellow transient I had seen but not yet met, yelled over: “I’m borrowing a car if you’d like to go to the grocery store with us.”

This is one of our favorite aspects of life aboard, the connection that forms so quickly amongst fellow cruisers and with many of the locals we encounter. A trip to the grocery store for the average person is a necessary chore frequently done alone, or maybe with a partner or child. As a boater arriving in a new town, a trip to the grocery is much more of an adventure, and it isn’t uncommon to share it with a fellow cruiser you may have just met.

I believe friendships are built on shared experiences and grow with trust. Corporate workplace consultants use this principle in popular team building exercises. The idea is, if you share a challenging experience with a coworker—one where you depend on each other—you strengthen that relationship and increase the bond with that person. I believe this is why boaters form closer relationships faster, especially long-distance cruisers. We’re not only sharing the same experiences, but they also come with increased opportunities to rely on each other.

When we’re living in our house, we tend to live a more isolated existence. Mind you, we’re good friends with many of our neighbors, we may see them come and go, but we don’t routinely share with each other details of what we’re doing. It’s unlikely my neighbor will tell me they’re going to the hardware store because their toilet’s not working. Conversely, with a fellow boater, staying in a marina together, not only will I probably know their head isn’t working, but we’ll probably be going to the marine store together, and there’s a good chance I’ll be helping them fix it.

For some reason when we’re living aboard the boat, we expose ourselves in a way that we do not when we’re land-bound. It’s as if we’re living inside out, with many parts of our lives that are normally kept private, being exposed and shared with others. In doing so, we gain an intimacy and a level of trust, faster than in most non-boating encounters. This intimate exposure and commonality helps create a bond and a feeling of camaraderie, that I don’t experience in any other place.

This exposure also seems to make us more approachable. The openness also doesn’t seem to be exclusively shared boater to boater. In all of our modes of travels, I know this to be true—when you arrive somewhere by car, you’re an outsider, and depending on the town, maybe you’re a tourist. Whichever the case, it is unlikely a local will approach you getting out of your car and ask where you’re from. But if the town has a harbor and you arrive by boat, you’re just welcomed differently. You’re more of a curiosity, and somehow more approachable. Passersby along the quay readily ask where we’re from, and where we’re going.

When in Nova Scotia, if we tell someone we’re from North Carolina—they could easily ask: “and you came all this way by boat?” Frequently accompanied by a long list of other questions. And as with our stop in Oriental, it’s not unusual to receive offers of assistance. And as many times as it’s happened, it still amazes me when a stranger offers us their car or invites us into their home. In our extended life aboard, we’ve traveled long distances and had a host of spectacular experiences. But perhaps nothing has been more rewarding than the lasting memories created by making new friends in new places.

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This article originally appeared in the August 2023 issue of Power & Motoryacht magazine.

Source: https://www.powerandmotoryacht.com/column/life-aboard-living-inside-out