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Inside Angle: Robocrew

In October 2024, Elon Musk unveiled a product he described as, “The biggest product ever, of any kind. What can it do? It can basically do anything you want,” Musk announced.

What is it? It’s the Tesla Optimus Robot, a 5-foot, 8-inch humanoid that can be “your own personal C-3PO.” Musk said, “It can be a teacher, babysit your kids, it can walk your dog, mow your lawn, get the groceries, just be your friend, serve drinks. Whatever you can think of, it will do.”

Whatever I can think of, huh? Give C-3PO a chamois, I say. Wash my boat, robocrew.

The humanoid robot will cost $20,000 to $30,000 once the company is producing them in large numbers, Musk said. Large numbers. Oh, man.

“I think everyone is going to want their Optimus buddy, maybe two.”

Alright, I’m digesting this from the perspective of a boat owner. This could be nothing less than the democratization of full-time crew. Crew for those of us who have forty- to fifty-foot boats and heretofore have been our own crew by and large.

With Optimus, “The costs of products and services will decline dramatically,” Musk said.

Like the cost of paid staff. Buy a robot for a one-time $30k downstroke and never have to pay a deckhand’s salary again? This is high-tech, amoral robotic slavery from a labor perspective.

Imagine a robot that washes your boat without fail every Friday and Monday, or just continually washes from bow to stern and back to the bow again, night and day while you’re away. I hope robocrew is waterproof.

So one day soon your marina neighbor, Milt with the beer gut, might unbox his shiny new robocrew on the dock behind your boat. You look on curiously as Milt, who hasn’t yet figured out how to register his MMSI number on his DSC VHF, powers up his new biped buddy. “Say ‘ello to my liddle frien-,” Milt mouths awkwardly in your direction. Milt’s leftover VCR in his salon is always blinking 12:00 but now he’s got “crew.”

Milt’s robocrew requires no crew quarters. It will just fold itself into a lazarette locker and close the hatch on itself once the chamois is wrung out. Robocrew requires no salary, no food, no toilet paper. Two robocrew could dock the boat and tie her off. Two robocrew will be the cost of just one year’s salary for an old-fashioned human crew down the dock. That’s Dave on the 82 Sunseeker, with a bum shoulder and a drinking habit.

Robocrew could cut bait. Bring the fenders in. Varnish. Operate the Nautical Structures crane and bring the dinghy up. A machine operating a machine. On a yacht. ‘Merica.

Imagine a (possibly dystopian) future where a 200-foot superyacht has 30 robocrew scampering the decks doing every mundane task imaginable. When they’re done with each task they simply disappear behind a hatch. 30 robocrew would cost $900,000, a paltry sum for the owner of a 150-million-dollar superyacht. Crew staffing is a not-insignificant issue for owners of large yachts, and is often headache-inducing. Problem solved. Buy #31 to go around and recharge the others on a constant basis.

Robocrew would be Starlinked to the engines’ computers and would tell you if the oil pressure changes. No need to scan the instruments every minute during a long passage. No need to be awake at all during said passage, actually. Drink up.

Robocrew could hose down the sun pads after an OnlyFans-funded soiree on the bow off Haulover inlet. Think of the possibilities!

Inevitably people would form materialistic relationships with their robocrew and give them names. After all, we name our boats. Some people name their cars.

Would guys like Milt boast about having as many robocrew as there are outboards on an HCB center console? Maybe if Milt gets five of them he’d name each one George Foreman. One would do the grilling. Except Milt likes to do the grilling.

Personally, I can only imagine having a maximum of one robocrew. I think I’d name it “Elon.”

This article originally appeared in the MONTH 2024 issue of Power & Motoryacht magazine.

View the original article to see embedded media.

Source: https://www.powerandmotoryacht.com/column/inside-angle-robocrew

Boat Lyfe